To my default, it was 101% not my fault! She started it so why is everyone bugging me to "mengalah" to her? Isn't she the mature one? Isn't she the one who ate salt before me? Isn't she the who's turning 18 this year?
I don't really know what to do. Half of me says to actually mengalah for her and just apologize but the egoistic side of me is pulling me back. I did try to give her hints as a sign I wanted to reconcile such as finishing her laundry, and putting the basket in front of her door so her clothes don't stink up. But she's still the hot-headed, ego one! All I really want is just a simple ass "Sorry."
I don't need a 1000-word essay of how guilty she is, I just want her to know the real pain I've been through behind the mean jokes! They weren't funny! And I couldn't put up with her anymore.
So here we are, a week later and still with the silent treatment. We did talk once in a while. Well, not much of talk as she just asked me what I wanted from Papparich and a mamak. But that was it.
Tonight I ate dinner with my dad and her. Awkwardness filled the air as we both only made conversation with our dad. I wanted to butt in their conversation and put in some of my thoughts in it but you know, ego.
Ego is a mean person. It makes you dreadful inside yet you'll feel satisfied.
I wish to throw my ego. I wish to God that He would give me some sort of sign of how I should handle this situation. But so far, nothing. The only thing I got was being called immature by my family. And having my mom persuade ME into apologizing. Nuh-uh! That was soooooo not happening.
I wish for her to read this. And sincerely think what kind of pain she has brought me. x
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